Walk Like a White Man: Reclaiming Confidence in a Room that Feels Like it Doesn’t Want You

Imagine this: Jenna Ortega, a young Latina in Hollywood, gets advice to walk into a room with confidence by imagining she's a white man. At first, that advice might sound strange or even laughable. But look closer, and there’s a deep truth in it. For many of us, especially women over 50, entering any space—whether it’s a job interview, a meeting, or even a social gathering—can feel intimidating. We doubt ourselves, hesitate, wonder if we belong. But here’s the thing: this feeling isn’t grounded in reality. It’s a mental trap we’ve been conditioned to fall into.

If you're like me, maybe you were told for years to “be nice,” to “not make waves,” to “stay humble.” And yet, as we hit fifty and beyond, many of us start to realize that humility isn’t always a virtue in the rooms that matter. Now is a time when you deserve to take up space more than ever—to stand in your experiences, insights, and hard-won wisdom. The world still needs what we bring, no matter what society says about age.

But breaking out of this mental trap requires work. Let’s talk about why we feel like outsiders, how we’ve been trained to see ourselves this way, and how we start to rewrite that script.

Why We Feel Like Outsiders

For generations, society has subtly—and not-so-subtly—told certain groups of people that they’re “less than.” Maybe it’s because of our race, gender, age, or cultural background. Sometimes it’s a mix of all. And this conditioning doesn’t just come from big, obvious events; it’s woven into everyday life in things as small as a side-eye in a meeting, a dismissive comment in passing, or as big as systemic discrimination.

And then there’s the added layer of age. Somewhere along the line, society decided that women over fifty lose value. We’re labeled as “past our prime,” out of touch, or irrelevant. That’s the narrative we’ve been sold, and unfortunately, many of us buy it, even when we know better. This adds to that little voice in the back of our minds, whispering that maybe we’re just too old for this, that we don’t fit in. And every experience, every side comment, every missed opportunity starts to cement this idea that we’re taking up too much space.

So how do we go about changing that?

Embracing Your Right to Take Up Space at Every Age

When we hear, “walk like a white man,” it’s not about pretending to be someone else or acting entitled. It’s about standing confidently in who we are, without apology. White men, historically, are conditioned to feel like they belong in any room they walk into, like their presence and voice are inherently valuable. Imagine that! Imagine what it feels like to walk into a room knowing—no, believing—you’re valuable, worthy, and relevant.

And guess what? You have every right to that same level of confidence. You’ve lived through five decades. That’s fifty years of life experience, insight, and resilience that can’t be learned from a textbook or a webinar. It’s time to own it.

Confidence isn’t something that just lands in your lap; it’s a mindset you can choose to cultivate, even when it doesn’t feel natural. Let’s talk about some strategies you can use to claim your space—no matter how many times you’ve been told that time has passed.

How to Walk into Any Room with Confidence After 50

1. Challenge Your Inner Dialogue
   We’re our own worst critics sometimes. So the next time you walk into a room and feel yourself shrink, stop and ask yourself, “Why? Who says I don’t belong here?” Remember that this feeling of insecurity comes from conditioning, not truth. If you’re in that room, it’s because you have every right to be there. Give yourself permission to stand tall and be heard.

2. Reframe Your Presence
   Instead of seeing yourself as the odd one out, see yourself as a breath of fresh air. You bring a unique perspective, one forged through decades of experience, insight, and resilience. Imagine you’re there to enrich the room, not just blend into it. Your value is in your experience and your authenticity. Picture yourself like a vibrant splash of color in a room full of black and white—it’s that uniqueness that makes you valuable.

3. Embody Power in Your Body Language
   At fifty plus, you’ve already been through enough to know that you deserve to take up space. Stand up straight, make eye contact, and speak slowly and clearly. When you physically act confident, people perceive you as confident, and eventually, your brain catches up. If you’ve been working for decades, think of all the times you carried yourself with confidence because you had no choice. Let that posture be yours in every room, now by choice.

4. Remember, Wisdom is Your Superpower
   Here’s one thing that comes with fifty-plus years on this planet: you have wisdom. The mistakes, the lessons, the insights that only come with experience? Those are priceless. Imagine your future self—the woman who knows her worth, who has navigated life, careers, relationships, losses, triumphs, and knows her value. She’s the one who would tell you, “You’ve got this. They’re lucky to have you in this room.” Borrow her confidence until it feels like your own. Walk in with her wisdom guiding you.

Embracing Your Confidence After 50 Isn’t Just for You

Changing how we walk into a room isn’t just about claiming our right to be seen. It’s about shifting a mindset for ourselves and for everyone else watching. Think about all the younger women, the other people in that room who might be struggling to find their own place. When they see you standing tall, owning your experience, and bringing your full self into that space, it gives them permission to do the same. You are setting a standard and proving that confidence is ageless.

Maybe the world has tried to tell you that your value has an expiration date, but you get to decide how long you’ll shine. The truth is, self-worth is an inside job. If you’ve been here fifty years, you know a thing or two about survival, resilience, and finding joy. The world might have tried to shape you into something smaller, but you get to decide who you want to be in every room you enter. No more shrinking. No more second-guessing.

It’s time to embrace the confidence you’ve earned. You don’t have to fit into someone else’s mold. Stand in who you are, with all your wisdom and years behind you, and show the world that confidence doesn’t fade with age; it deepens.